I'm excited!!!!

Since we've had enough of the sopping and moping around in the last few posts ;) ...i'm gonna share with you the reason for the sudden excitement!

I have a vision. :) Lets' give some background story...

When i started this studio with Arnab, 3 years ago - i knew what would 'work'. Instinctively. I knew what would sell, i knew what would work in terms of design, presentation - and i did it with much excitement...the exuberance of starting something afresh.

...but i killed that excitement just as quickly in wanting to project a certain 'image' of professionalism - without really understanding what the word meant. Point is i killed the excitement for myself....and the 'vision' of the company and for the company started to blur...i was doing things because i thought they fit into the mould of 'professionalism'...and not because they were part of the 'exit design' identity.

It's so important to know who you are, what you're about, what your quirks are, your strengths, your weaknesses....to know that about yourself - about your company. So often we work in environments because -
1. the pay is good
2. i like the people
3. the company is making money
4. we have a fancy office...

fine....but 'who' is your company? What is it's identity? If it were a person - what kind've humour would it like? Would it like tacos or nachos? Would it be scared of flying? Would it sing in the rain? ....im guessing it might be a bit of a stretch to try and apply some of this to some large tech firm....but tihs kinda thing works for us - and that's what i just realized. :) It took me three years! - no less...but 'realization' is like that....

This company is about fun...and eccentricity....and quirks and being psycho....all this stuck under the corporate suit made of armour - if it doesn't give you the freedom to just 'be'? It might as well be a suit made of steel!

Wow....i had a wow moment....after a long time (all the filthy minds - go wash ur brains with soap!)

hehe amazing how a little space can open up so many possibilites...
(uggghhh!! i didn't ask you to use hamam - buy some industrial detergent if required!!)

Starting out anew.

Have started a new blog; where commenting won't be such a pain - http://karnmalhotra.blogspot.com

Trying this out as an experiment; main idea behind the new blog being a little more interactivity...dialogue...a little less self indulgence. Will post in both blogs for a while longer...atleast till this 'experiment' becomes something permanent one way or the other.

Here's to 'space'. It's a beautiful thing.

"i said maybe....you're gonna be the one that saves me....and after all...you're my wonderwall...."

Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna bring it back to you...

Realization is a difficult word. Acceptance is more like a slap in the face. Like the slamming of a door on a cold still night.

Or the blinking of a cursor...frozen fingertips....a buzz in my head and i don't know what to say. Expounding theory after theory about - what....

All i need is a little time...to get behind the sun and cast away...

I run and run and run...from myself. Looking for what...to feel less...numb.

My conscience stares me in the face...i look through it as i would through mist....only to see nothing on the other side and only be more aware of its presence.

A gurgling sound...like molten iron....like boiling tar....i strain to muffle it's sounds...my conscience. I feel numb...i want to feel more....but that's all i feel.

Erase and rewind....then what's the point of hindsight?

for a while now iv been feeling as if I was swimming through a pool of jello...everything is really slow...moving slowly...

In my mind I'm in this state of limbo; y'know, when you ask yourself, ''so what next?'' ...at the same time I wonder, 'what am I to learn from this phase...'

Recently, I went through this phase with ninjitsu - I wanted to quit. This is the first time I'm admitting it - even to myself. When I spoke with my teacher about this...about the lack of interest...and some frustration; all he said was that 'it's part of the process'.

Reaching a 'plateau' is part of the process. He also said that 'the better you are, the more difficult it gets' ;) ...no no, blowing my own trumpet is not what this is about. Its just like, ''if you want to live an extraordinary life, deal with extraordinary problems''.

I guess I'm wondering if I'm at the start or middle of some plateau when it comes to work...sometimes I just don't want to get out of bed. I want to sleep and vegetate and watch movies and go to the supermarket and go to the mall....just not for the 10am meeting.

My ninjitsu teacher also said, ''when you feel you're at that plateau, and ur doing the same things the same way over and over again - you should go back to your basics, cuz this is the time they get really strong.''

Basically, if you've hit a plateau, don't look for the next elevation or next mountain to climb. Look back to where you came from and use the plateau as 'space' - on which you can practise and improve those basics from the past.

In my case it would mean -
1. Dont make promises you can't keep.
2. Be on time for meetings.
3. Be courteous and humble, irrespective of the requirement of the job.

Time for some practise.