»love«

I thought of writing and wanted to write immediately...i haven't had this urge in a while..

Why are relationships so complex? Why are there so many complexities we deal with as people? Why do we carry so many things with us from the past? Why do we burden ourselves with something that makes no difference or no impact to our lives in the present? And will never do so in the future either?

"Until i.e. you let it"

Wow...what a truly original observation.

Why do i believe in the human spirit as much as i do? Why do i look for more good in people than bad? Why would i rather look at the good in something thatn look at the bad?

"Are you trying to compensate for something yourself?"

No...maybe this is just how i think. Why should i be apologetic for how i think. How i feel. I feel the way i do right now....and that's how i feel.

I remember it like yesterday when my ex gf dropped me off at a tyre repair place to get it fixed...and i was stalling and delaying her going home...or her going out elsewhere...cuz i knew at the back of my mind she was going to meet someone else. Things were practically over between us anyway...i just kept holding on. Why?

Was it my need to be with her? Or was it my need to just be with someone?

Why do we feel the need to be with someone? So much that we just hold on to a lifeline thrown our way...the 'our' is more replaced by 'me' or 'i' or 'my'....it's such a cliche...to talk about yourself in the third person..

What is it about creation? What is it about the tactile feeling of sensing space...and 'touching' it with your fingertips...of 'smelling' the air...sensing it..feeling it...

What is space about? Between two people....

retracing your steps till you know...

Distance i have to travel...a long long journey...far away...

i can't be stopped by questions.

People ask questions out of curiosity. Out of insecurity. Out of inquisitiveness...

i want to keep writing like i want to keep talking...

the other night i went out with a friend of mine i haven't met in a really long time...and we caught up...and we talked...effortlessly going from one topic to another...cuz there was a perfect understanding and expression of 'space' right there....

no pretence...i was me...she was herself....and we talked and talked and talked...and before you know it - 3 1/2 hours had passed...comfort in being yourself when you know someone and someone knows you...

then why are we so scared to learn...to know...to reach out....is the distance really that great?

is it?














is it....

It is true - the emotions you feel when you're in love, you're unlikely to feel at any other time.

A tingling sensation on the tips of your fingers. Wondering and feeling anxious when your loved one hasn't called...when she was going to. Staring into the distance...daydreaming about good times you've shared. Wishing your loved one was close...so you could just....kiss. The sensation of touch. Of comfort in holding someone...or being held. Walking hand in hand. Talking on the phone till daybreak. Going for long drives on a whim...just to be with each other. Missing her when you haven't met for more...than a day. A new romance is flushed with such positive emotions..feelings...thoughts..

You find similarities in music...soon have 'your' song...debate about how stupid this actor is or how daft an idea it is to display affection in public...watch hindi movies...laugh...chill....shop. Get irritated while shopping. Eat while shopping. Buy movie tickets while shopping. fight while shopping.

Travel. See new places together...share new experiences together...eat new kinds of food...fall sick..take care of her...eat the same 'beemaron ka khaana'...just cuz it'll make her feel better.

Talk about the future. About dreams, aspirations...the realization of ambitions. Talk about your future...where things are headed. Then stop talking. Smile. And enjoy the moment.

Talk about the past...each others past. Than create problems for each other! ...but learn to trust each other more over time...in knowing there are no secrets...

Go for parties..meet each others friends..get mutual 'approval' from all parties concerned...sing...dance...eat...

Check out all the new restaurants in town...let her pay whenever she wants to...

And so much more. Though writing about it doesn't even begin to compare to experiencing it...

....everytime i listen to this song...my heart aches.

"Love is such sweet sorrow."

...there is such soulful pain in that song...i feel inadequate trying to describe it...

:)

but that's where i'm making it about me....and not about the beauty in the song. So often we fail to appreciate the inherent beauty in something separate from us because we attach and associate our emotions with it...not being able to look at the two as two separate entities...

This song is about the pain of being in love...of being away from the one you love...the trials and travails of being in love...of dying for one's love and yet nothing to happen to the object of one's affection...

is it love or is it torture...why does this cycle of pain never end....in love

It's such a beautiful song :)

what is the journey of fidelity....is there no solution to the pains of one's heart...?

some in love...some destroyed by it...

Images....moments....shadows...the wind howls...in mirth...in the folly of this love...and yet i follow...and yet i'm lost...

may nobody hear the lost sighs of a lovelorn lover...broken dreams....in ashes

somewhere hate...somewhere envy...and even in the victory that is love...there is defeat...

is it love...or torture...end...this cycle of pain...

don't ask me about pain...what of smiles and laughter....troubles never afar....

oh love of mine...

my love...