»the future«

Was chatting online with a friend of mine and somehow this topic of this mystery woman in a bar in Italy came up :) and i wrote this little piece...

wonder if it'll ever happen...


Karn says:
about movie - i watched it and then had this vision of learning to dance the tango reeeally well...and when i'm in europe in the summer - going to a small bar of sorts in a village town in spain or italy - meeting this really hot woman and doing a really *hot* tango with her....taking her back to the cottage i'm staying in....making love to her....passionately.....all night....

Karn says:
and then never seeing her again....

Karn says:
i've thought about her before as well....

Karn says:
and you know the strange part is....i never see her face

Karn says:
like even now, i can see her sitting by the bar...auburn hair....in swirls...

Karn says:
can see her shoulders...

Karn says:
imagine holding them...with the skin so soft....and she has goose flesh...cuz of the anticipation

Karn says:
and the fact that it's a little cold

Karn says:
lol

Karn says:
that's the best part for me.....there has to be some intrigue...something out of sight...

Karn says:
like, i would love to look at a woman who's wearing something figure hugging that accentuates her body, and yet she's tastefully dressed

Karn says:
sometimes when i see a really hot woman, and at the same time there's a lot of exposure...it turns me off

Karn says:
so when i look at her sitting by the bar

Karn says:
looking away...

Karn says:
i know she's a little cold

Karn says:
and i want to offer her my jacket...but i don't know her yet...so i wait....and just look at her

Karn says:
wondering what her voice would sound like when i do get talking to her

Karn says:
or would she feel shy in knowing that i thought she was just gorgeous...

Karn says:
or what would it be like to hold her hand for the first time....when i ask her to dance and i'm leading her to the dancefloor

Karn says:
i love those kinda moments...

Karn says:
and then *snap*

Karn says:
i'm out've my daydream....still knowing that i'm just looking at her

Karn says:
and none of this has happened yet

Karn says:
so i wonder...

Karn says:
i walk by the bar and ask for a drink....she barely notices

Karn says:
i can see she's a little restless...maybe waiting for someone...but there's noone there

Karn says:
by now the barman is giving me a 'knowing' smile ....he knows i've been watching her

Karn says:
i get chatting with him...finish one drink...

Karn says:
ask for another

Karn says:
he pours me another drink...by this time she's having another herself

Karn says:
the barman knows her...so he says something and she bursts out laughing

Karn says:
and....

Karn says:
it's the most amazing sound i've ever heard

Karn says:
i saw this beauuutiful woman....with the most angelic laugh i'd ever heard....and full blown laughter....her head thrown back....and the smile going straight to her eyes

Karn says:
she just couldn't control herself

Karn says:
and that's the first time she noticed me....

Karn says:
looking at her....

Karn says:
makes a silly quip if she has something on her face which is why i'm staring

Karn says:
i get a little embarassed....look away....and look at her again...and just say to her, "I've never heard someone laugh so openly before...you're quite captivating"

Karn says:
her - "Captivating am i? That still doesn't give you license to stare you know"

Karn says:
me - " ha ha...guilty as charged...couldn't help but take note of the stunning view....and the gogeous woman sitting smack in the middle of it...mind if i buy you a drink"

Karn says:
her - "hmmm...on second thoughts, maybe the staring could be bearable"

Karn says:
....and so we got talking....about people...places she'd been to...places i'd seen

Karn says:
wine...food....music.....

Karn says:
and dance....

Karn says:
her - "do you tango?"

Karn says:
me - "ha ha...a little"

Karn says:
her - "i've never heard anyone tango 'a little'. you either do or you don't"

Karn says:
me - "oooo...fiesty aren't we"

Karn says:
her - "......."

Karn says:
me - "i do"

Karn says:
her - "good...then dance with me"

Karn says:
and i did...

Karn says:
and it was the most sexually charged 3 1/2 minutes i've ever lived on a dance floor

Karn says:
the raw sexuality of the music..the dance....and her lithe body touching mine...my fingers digging into her skin

Karn says:
i think that's the first time i made love to her...

Karn says:
and she felt it too

Karn says:
i'd never looked so deep into a woman's eyes....

Karn says:
there was a whole world in them....such vast depth...

Karn says:
it even scared me a little....and yet i felt comforted...by her

Karn says:
the music ended

Karn says:
we stopped moving

Karn says:
the barman was smiling behind his half lit cigarette...as were a few couples on the tables around the floor...

Karn says:
we looked at each other and smiled...i kissed her softly on the cheek and led her off the floor....bowing to the band on the way past...

Karn says:
'salut'

Karn says:
we held hands as we walked out onto the cobbled street....she was cold...i put my jacket over her shoulders...she smiled

Karn says:
as we walked through the street....we passed a fountain in the main square...stopped and sat by it for a moment....

Karn says:
she seemed to like the wetness of the water on her hands....in the blue moonlight....

Karn says:
.....as we neared the cottage....she said

Karn says:
"Make love to me tonight knowing you won't see me again tomorrow"

Karn says:
.....i looked at her....quiet....thought better of saying anything, opened the door and led her in

Karn says:
...i'd never felt so naked ever before....like i did that night....

Karn says:
and it seemed like i had never touched a naked body before....the way i touched hers....that night

Karn says:
i made love to a woman....and was lost in a world of
her scents...her hair...her eyes....her lips...her mouth....the softness of her cheeks....the warmth of her skin as she slept....

Karn says:
o h...just to hold her....felt like divine intervention...

Karn says:
i wanted to lay there all night....for the morning not to come...

Karn says:
i'd loved a woman so passionately....and it was only for one night....

...to all those ambitious lot - and to the biggest Rocksta of them all - Mr.Arnab Biswas! Cheers macha! :)

ok...i had to put this down here simply becuz the food was that good!! (and you should get credit cuz i didn't think of writing about it before bringing it up again when we spoke)

I went to my dear friend's engagement yesterday...the ceremony itself started pretty late - cuz mr.dulhe raja to be arrived an hour and a half late - for his own engagement! (i wonder if he had a 'runaway bride' moment) ...but once he arrived, everyone was all khush...except hehehehehe....the dulhe raja himself - who had this fixed flumoxed look on his face with one worried dazed smile and the overall expression was a mix of, "Is this really happening?" and "Why me???!!!" hahahaha ...was quite a sight, needless to say :)

...then the evening progressed i.e. the engagement ceremony was over....somewhere in the middle, i carried my friends 5 month old baby for the first time - i was so scared.....this tiny little child in my arms....i think i was probably bear hugging him to make sure he was extra safe! ...he in turn decided to drool all over my shirt and left with one "hehehehehehehe" glint in his eye....he'll grow up to be an absolute badmash just like his dad!

....and then......*siiigggggghhhhhh* (like - a realllllyyy long *sigh* dude - and a look of COMPLETE satisfaction on ur face!) .....there was the food....

There was a representative from every meat family - except for pork, for obvious reasons. ...but all the other meats did justice to their lives...by dying so well - and tasting so delicious after death! (that actually sounds quite revolting...but who cares!) ......maaaaannnnn.....the mutton in the mutton biryani was like butter.....it LITERALLY melted off the bone....and the tangdi kabab...the chicken was sooo succulent.....the tandori kababs were *divine*.....the prawns...............so tender.......so deliciously.....orgasmic. That's it dude....the food was *orgasmic*.....(i don't care what visions people are having right now - it's the truth!) ....i ate so much.....and was soooo satisfied by the end of it all....that i felt like a tick - ready to explode. And my already lgendary 'pj' humour went up a few notches in the quality of the pj's....i remember saying at one point, "I can feel the rumblings of a burp waiting to come out....but then it wouldn't be a burp if it came out the wrong end" hehehe....but it was quite an evening... :)

I was so happy for him...i AM so happy for him....it's amazing to see how people commit themselves to a life with one person...i mean....not that i'm saying from the point of view that i couldn't :) ...just that - it's just amazing how people find each other and decide to spend the rest of their lives getting to know each other.....loving each other....hating each other....understanding each other.....tolerating each other :) ....and so much more....it's pretty cool

SO - here's to 'ZZ' top! May they rock on!!

hahahaha...as i wrote that i thought of the bass guitarist from U2...

....I'm watching 'Rocky 3'.

He looks like a dufus; can hardly talk and mostly slurrs through the limited talking that he does (or is that just Sly). He gets his ass kicked around in the first fight against 'Mr.T'. His spirit broken...goes into a a ring of self-doubt; and realizes - he's scared. Acknowledges - he's scared.

Starts training, soon realizes his feet move like lead. His hands might as well be lead. And heart still feels like lead - from his trainer dying after the last fight.

The quintessential underdog.

All the 'Rocky' movies are like that.
"Rocky the underdog".
"Can Rocky pull it off again?"
"The Stallion still in the Italian?"

The second fight gets over so quickly, it makes you wonder if it was meant to be in the movie in the first place! Gets a little soppy towards the end, and i wouldn't call it 'timepass' just the same - but if you have nothing else to do on a sunday evening....no actually - i still wouldn't recommend you watch it.

But the one thing that pulls Rocky through all of his fights...and the movies through the box office (Including the latest - 'Rocky Balboa' - really wanted to watch it)...is 'the edge' within Rocky.

The heart with which he fights (yes yes, i'll try not to get too soppy)

Rocky is an everyday guy. He makes home videos with the family. (Maybe a few with his wife) Goes to the grocery store. Loves a fun birthday party for his kid. Makes his wife breakfast in bed. And gives her the anniversary gift a week in advance - cuz he can't wait!

All this makes Rocky's character believable. You empathize with him. And you also feel inspired when you see him kick someone's (who's twice his size) ass! Cuz it makes you believe you can too. Makes you look inside and say, "I'm a fighter too"

I was chatting with a friend of mine online and was telling him how......well.....people used to look at me with that attitude. That, "he's got that edge" look. They still do, but sometimes i think it's also followed by the, "but something's missing" look. I'm mostly referring to work.

It's so easy to take appreciation for granted. When you get a coupl've good breaks - to slack after that. To display extraordinary potential - but for that to just to remain 'potential'. To live by past achievements.

When i was 24 i said to a friend of mine that i'd appear on 'CNBC Young Turks' by the time i was 27. That leaves me with 9 months. ")

Sometimes i wonder if - what we say....how much do we mean it...? Or do we just build pipe dreams and live in them...

I've been lucky and god has been kind - but then it's one thing to say, "I'm gonna be on CNBC Young Turks by 27" and something else to do what it takes to be there. So far have i done what it takes - hell no.

So what's the point of this 'essay'....

(I just saw myself on tv again! maybe it's a sign hehe)

...bullshitting people can get you very far - bullshitting yourself, you invariably hit a road block. 'The Edge' people talk about...that they see in others....is no use unless the people who supposedly have it - see it themselves. And if they see it themselves - then they atleast do something about it....

....and being afraid to take the leap is something everyone faces in life...

ok...this is getting a little preachy....i have this tendency you know....no wonder a friend of mine calls me 'grandpa'. Basically i'm bored and i was watching this movie and thought i'd write a review...

Yana Gupta has yellow teeth....yuck

aaaah....got the perfect song to end this...

"Be what you wanna be...
Taking things the way they come
Nothing is as fine as finding Paradise
and
Sipping on Bacardi Rum!"

...sometimes its a little easier to 'take the leap' in an inebriated state....you're less inhibited then....maybe more yourself? One thing i have realized is that over the next 4 years - the one thing i will give myself to is - work. Recently I've been guilty of 'giving myself' to other things....- i don't regret it - ....just that work being a serious focus right now and everything else taking that serious backseat might actually seriously ensure i make that interview within the next 9 months!

And my Maserati Quattroporte GT in 4 years, wot?