Time
"Time is a precious thing...and the years teach much that the days never knew"
"We all fail...the courage is in trying"
"Art is not something you choose to do...it chooses you"
I was indulging in my favourite past-time....watching movies :) ...and i just finished watching this one called "Something in the Clouds"...or something to that effect...
...sweet film....set in a small village in Italy (my future home) and about a great writer (played by Harvey Keitel) who hasn't written anything in 20 years....i forget the name of the actor - who plays this agent who wants to get this man to write (cuz his boss thinks it's a great idea)...and this agent falls in love with the the writer's daughter...and towards the end of the film - he obviously get mr.writer to start writing and jumps onto a train to leave for London - only for his daughter to follow the train on her horse - flash a gorgeous smile - and get him to stay....(but ofcourse)
...like i said, it was a sweet film....what i really loved about it - and i guess this is cuz of personal interest :) - is their portrayal of the little Italian village....people drinking wine and eating little slices of cheese and salami....olive oil with bread...cobbled pathways...a smattering of clouds over the skyline at sunset...women with seemingly flawless skin...radiant and glowing...men in their vest-coats and floppy hats and caps...elderly women sitting by the town square, chatting animatedly....
.....at one point in the film, the writer asks this agent (cuz he too wants to be a writer)
W: "how do you write about something if you haven't experienced it?"
A: "well...i try and write it as best i can...try and imagine it..."
W: "Have you ever been in a fight?"
A: "No"
W: "Then how can you write about a fight if you don't know what it's like....how would you describe a punch in the stomach?"
A: "Ummm...you double over in pain....wincing and grimacing...."
W: "...and?"
A: "well.....(OOOF!!)"
W: "See?....you do double over in pain and wince and grimace....but do you feel the weak sensation in your knees? Or the the burning sensation in your stomach? Or the fact that you think you won't ever breathe again...till your lungs suddenly fill with fresh air...."
....yesterday i watched a play. I thought it was....well....ok. I've seen some that were substantially better - some that were plenty worse. I happen to know this writer and most people have a strong opinion on his writing - good or bad. And the general consensus is that you always walk away from one've his plays wondering what exactly was the point? I mean - in one sense that's great. Cuz that's the point of theatre in my mind - to elicit a response. To stimulate a discussion or dialogue. If you walk away from a play thinking, "ehhhh...." - then the play has missed the point...you haven't.
And in thinking about this writer and his writing and especially after watching this movie - i started to wonder if this was a case of maybe a writer trying to say too much too often - everytime - cuz THAT is his identity. That's what people know him as, or perceive him to be. If he wrote something more....bland....would people still discuss, argue, fight - have an opinion about his writing?
About him?
And that's what the writer in this movie was about....he hadn't written anything in 20 years because he was....afraid...that he might realize that he wasn't the once great writer everyone thought him to be. He was actually just...ordinary. And that's what most creative people are scared of realizing. That they aren't special. They aren't different. They're like everyone else. They're ordinary.
"Art is not something you choose to do...it chooses you"
The writer said that line in the movie and it's so true in some cases...i mean - some peolpe are just so completely MADD!! And some are strange and some are eccentric...and we blame their eccentricities on 'art'. On the fact that they're 'creative'. And in some cases when that 'creativity' goes out've hand....in the case of some genuises....we wonder if that creative bone in that person's body was actually the bane of his existence...
I want to be a writer someday. I know i write here whenever i have the urge to write...but i'd like to write a book someday. It's something i've had in mind since i was 15...ever since i realized i could actually write something different. Basically cuz of my english teachers in school :) who invariably gushed to my mum about my lonnnnnngg essays and not in the least bit 'short stories'. They'd say stuff like, "We really wanted to give him the full 10 marks because he'd written it so well - but we couldn't count the answer because it was two and a half pages long instead of a 100 words."
Sometimes i wonder about my madness. About how it effects my life and the lives of the people i love....know....interact with. I wonder if there's a balance somewhere...
That's it. I'm in search for that 'balance'...that ever elusive sense of stability that disappears at every attempt to hold onto it. And i look for it in different areas in my life. That would explain my 'search' within myself to be a better person. A better human being.
:) My friends have often joked that, "If ever there is an award for the one person who constantly strives to learn and improve himself everyday - it's Karn." My point is not to reiterate what they're saying....but in trying to understand what that search is about....
I've done long courses...done volunteer work to help others...done martial arts...tried being an athlete...tried my hand at singing....dancing...been through a few relationships...and done many other things along the way....in search of that stability. It's like some people say, "She/He is my rock, my anchor." I find myself being that for others and yet search for one myself...and i think that's a search most creative people face in their lifetime...it's like most psychiatrists/psychologists can listen and help other people with their problems but find the simplest logic the hardest to apply in their own lives :)
"...Isn't it Ironic.....don't you think..."
Searching for things......brings you a lot of joy....and a lot of pain along the way. And you need to accept both with equal measure.
One thing i do know......
If, someday, I'm sitting on a chiselled easy-chair...looking out at the sea....or even a river...and there's quiet around me...as i sit on the patio of my house...drinking a glass of wine...with olives...and bread with olive oil...salt and pepper hair with a few lines of time showing on my face....the love of a beautiful family with me...
I'll know my life's 'search' would have been worth it.
"We all fail...the courage is in trying"
"Art is not something you choose to do...it chooses you"
I was indulging in my favourite past-time....watching movies :) ...and i just finished watching this one called "Something in the Clouds"...or something to that effect...
...sweet film....set in a small village in Italy (my future home) and about a great writer (played by Harvey Keitel) who hasn't written anything in 20 years....i forget the name of the actor - who plays this agent who wants to get this man to write (cuz his boss thinks it's a great idea)...and this agent falls in love with the the writer's daughter...and towards the end of the film - he obviously get mr.writer to start writing and jumps onto a train to leave for London - only for his daughter to follow the train on her horse - flash a gorgeous smile - and get him to stay....(but ofcourse)
...like i said, it was a sweet film....what i really loved about it - and i guess this is cuz of personal interest :) - is their portrayal of the little Italian village....people drinking wine and eating little slices of cheese and salami....olive oil with bread...cobbled pathways...a smattering of clouds over the skyline at sunset...women with seemingly flawless skin...radiant and glowing...men in their vest-coats and floppy hats and caps...elderly women sitting by the town square, chatting animatedly....
.....at one point in the film, the writer asks this agent (cuz he too wants to be a writer)
W: "how do you write about something if you haven't experienced it?"
A: "well...i try and write it as best i can...try and imagine it..."
W: "Have you ever been in a fight?"
A: "No"
W: "Then how can you write about a fight if you don't know what it's like....how would you describe a punch in the stomach?"
A: "Ummm...you double over in pain....wincing and grimacing...."
W: "...and?"
A: "well.....(OOOF!!)"
W: "See?....you do double over in pain and wince and grimace....but do you feel the weak sensation in your knees? Or the the burning sensation in your stomach? Or the fact that you think you won't ever breathe again...till your lungs suddenly fill with fresh air...."
....yesterday i watched a play. I thought it was....well....ok. I've seen some that were substantially better - some that were plenty worse. I happen to know this writer and most people have a strong opinion on his writing - good or bad. And the general consensus is that you always walk away from one've his plays wondering what exactly was the point? I mean - in one sense that's great. Cuz that's the point of theatre in my mind - to elicit a response. To stimulate a discussion or dialogue. If you walk away from a play thinking, "ehhhh...." - then the play has missed the point...you haven't.
And in thinking about this writer and his writing and especially after watching this movie - i started to wonder if this was a case of maybe a writer trying to say too much too often - everytime - cuz THAT is his identity. That's what people know him as, or perceive him to be. If he wrote something more....bland....would people still discuss, argue, fight - have an opinion about his writing?
About him?
And that's what the writer in this movie was about....he hadn't written anything in 20 years because he was....afraid...that he might realize that he wasn't the once great writer everyone thought him to be. He was actually just...ordinary. And that's what most creative people are scared of realizing. That they aren't special. They aren't different. They're like everyone else. They're ordinary.
"Art is not something you choose to do...it chooses you"
The writer said that line in the movie and it's so true in some cases...i mean - some peolpe are just so completely MADD!! And some are strange and some are eccentric...and we blame their eccentricities on 'art'. On the fact that they're 'creative'. And in some cases when that 'creativity' goes out've hand....in the case of some genuises....we wonder if that creative bone in that person's body was actually the bane of his existence...
I want to be a writer someday. I know i write here whenever i have the urge to write...but i'd like to write a book someday. It's something i've had in mind since i was 15...ever since i realized i could actually write something different. Basically cuz of my english teachers in school :) who invariably gushed to my mum about my lonnnnnngg essays and not in the least bit 'short stories'. They'd say stuff like, "We really wanted to give him the full 10 marks because he'd written it so well - but we couldn't count the answer because it was two and a half pages long instead of a 100 words."
Sometimes i wonder about my madness. About how it effects my life and the lives of the people i love....know....interact with. I wonder if there's a balance somewhere...
That's it. I'm in search for that 'balance'...that ever elusive sense of stability that disappears at every attempt to hold onto it. And i look for it in different areas in my life. That would explain my 'search' within myself to be a better person. A better human being.
:) My friends have often joked that, "If ever there is an award for the one person who constantly strives to learn and improve himself everyday - it's Karn." My point is not to reiterate what they're saying....but in trying to understand what that search is about....
I've done long courses...done volunteer work to help others...done martial arts...tried being an athlete...tried my hand at singing....dancing...been through a few relationships...and done many other things along the way....in search of that stability. It's like some people say, "She/He is my rock, my anchor." I find myself being that for others and yet search for one myself...and i think that's a search most creative people face in their lifetime...it's like most psychiatrists/psychologists can listen and help other people with their problems but find the simplest logic the hardest to apply in their own lives :)
"...Isn't it Ironic.....don't you think..."
Searching for things......brings you a lot of joy....and a lot of pain along the way. And you need to accept both with equal measure.
One thing i do know......
If, someday, I'm sitting on a chiselled easy-chair...looking out at the sea....or even a river...and there's quiet around me...as i sit on the patio of my house...drinking a glass of wine...with olives...and bread with olive oil...salt and pepper hair with a few lines of time showing on my face....the love of a beautiful family with me...
I'll know my life's 'search' would have been worth it.
